We've been struggling with some mundane things around our house since the birth of Squeaker:
1. Getting out of the house in the morning. No matter how early we get up, it seems like we can't get everyone dressed, fed, packed and out of the house earlier than about 8:15. I consider myself pretty organized, but 3 times I have forgotten to take Squeaker's bottle to the sitter's, twice I have forgotten parts to my breast pump, and once I've forgotten my security badge for work. When I do the kid drop off, I look like a Sherpa with my computer bag, breast pump bag, Squeaker's bag of milk and bottles, and the car seat with Squeaker. It's a lot of crap. I'm very into makeovers, so if anyone has suggestions on how to makeover my morning, I'd love to hear them.
2. Doing anything in the evening other than eating, Bean's bedtime, and watching TV. Both girls require constant attention until bedtime. Thankfully, Bean's is around 7, but Squeaker doesn't go down until about 9. This means that until 9 one of us is holding Squeaker while the other tries to clean up the kitchen and prep for the next day. If we haven't gone to the grocery store the weekend before, we are almost certainly playing refrigerator survivor or doing take out. I used to work an hour or two most evenings, but I almost never have the time or energy anymore. We try to eat as a family most evenings which means mealtime is not a time for quality adult interaction.
I go on about these things because they relate to my excitement about my plans last night. I was invited to a dinner with 5 other working out of the house Moms (WOHMs). Eager to hear advice on how to better manage the elusive work/life balance, I have been looking forward to the dinner for a couple of months. The dinner was bit of a bust but highly indicative, I believe, of how normal it is to struggle with the juggle.
We had reservations at 6:30 for 6. At 6:30, 3 of us were there. #4 WOHM had called and said her youngest of 4 had woken up from a nap with her eyes swollen shut, so she was contemplating a visit to urgent care. #5 WOHM called while we were waiting to be seated, and said she and #6 were going to be at least an hour late because her sitter had canceled and she was trying to find a backup. Apparently, #5's husband isn't a pitch-in kind of guy. Against their policy, the restaurant seated the 3 of us at a table for 6. We enjoyed apps, wine, and talk while waiting for #5 and #6 to arrive. At about 8, we still hadn't ordered and we were still a party of 3.
And then, my husband called. With apologies and baby screaming in the background, he said that baby had been wailing for about 45 min, wouldn't eat, and seemed to be laboring to breathe. So I left the restaurant and left 2 at the table for 6. Squeaker is fine, but I did the right thing by cutting my night short.
So I didn't learn if any of the working Moms drive minivans (sorry, Nana), but I did learn:
1. I'm super lucky to have a husband who's an equal parent.
2. Families with nannies have it easier on the getting-out-of-the-house front.
3. Husband and I are fortunate that we have flexible work situations so that we can be late.
4. The sense that everything in life is a compromise and less-than-perfect is totally normal.
5. And I'm not doing so bad as a working Mom. :)
2 comments:
Isn't it amazing how much kids complicate EVERYTHING?! And I may just be a SAHM, but I totally understand the juggling act. Nothing is ever easy anymore.
Sorry your night out wasn't great, but atleast you weren't one of the three who never made it.
We've stared a Working Moms' Drinking Group in Dallas and have had similar results. :-D
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